A Beautiful Day at Baker and Glover

Baker and Glover is a trailer park that we worked in with TEAMeffort in Gainesville, GA. I wrote this earlier, but am just not getting to post it.



As I walk this road today, just as I have a thousand times before, I am greeted with so many familiar sights, sounds, smells, and feelings. I can feel the asphalt burning through my well worn tennis shoes. I can smell the stench of garbage that has needed to be taken away since the beginning of the summer, mixed with the smell of the tacos being made by the lady down the road. I can see the faces of many children I play with daily, peering out the window to see if it is ok to come play again. I hear the banging of hammers on nails as some of our work crews get started, just as mine needs to do, but I am in search of one thing. It is a necessity before we can begin, a thing I cannot work without.

Suddenly I see it in the distance, it is slowly getting bigger and bigger, and it’s getting closer and closer. It is jesus, the boss of my jobsite. We both burst into full sprint and as soon as he is close enough he jumps into my arms and clings to me as if he intends to never let go. I feel a wave of energy and love crash through my body. His smile is the most beautiful thing I’ve seen all morning. Suddenly I realize that I have been so caught up in my search that I have ignored the group. I look over to see them all smiling, but obviously feeling left out. I ask him to tell them his name, but he becomes shy. I ask him to show them his missing teeth, but he buries his face in my neck. He looks to me for protection. Throughout the summer I have gained his trust. jesus is a 6 year old boy who lives in the neighborhood, whose house we worked on several weeks ago. We built a wheelchair ramp for his brother with Down syndrome and now our special job is to build a doghouse, specially requested by Jesus, for his dog Princess.

Here is what most people see in jesus; he is missing his two front teeth, he has a freshly cut mohawk, his family does not have much money, he whines a lot, and he has really bad morning breath.

But here is what I see… I see a boy who needs and desires attention, a kid who is hungry because he ate no breakfast, but even more he is hungry for my love and the love of God. He loves to listen to me tell him stories, he loves it when I let him paint with us, or when I taught him how to use a hammer. He wants my approval more than anything, and he becomes ecstatic when I let him have the change from the console of my car; what’s even better is when I take him for a ride around the neighborhood, either in my car or on my shoulders. He has become too big to be held for long periods of times, but yet I still am willing to hold him for hours on end, even when it’s inconvenient. He has become my heart beat and I love him more than I ever thought I would. After finding Jesus we set out to get the youth started working. We assign people to different jobs: painting, building a roof over the deck, building a slide, building a picnic table, and building the doghouse, with the special help of Jesus and me. I send everyone to get the tools for their jobs and to divide the lumber, jesus restates my orders. He decides that he needs his very own hammer, and insists that he needs the blue one, which happens to be the biggest one on the jobsite. I reluctantly let him carry it but remind him to hold it with both hands so he doesn’t drop it on his toes. I go around the corner to pour some paint for a girl. As soon as I get the cap off I hear a high pitch scream and then what sounds like a puppy wimpering. I drop the paint lid and race around the corner to see Jesus trying not to cry, as the youth group kids circle around him. As soon as he gets a glimpse of me he bursts into tears and comes towards me hopping on one foot, with his sandal dangling off the other foot. I pick him up and ask what happened. Now he is sobbing and cannot answer me so a kid from the group informs me that he dropped the hammer on his toes. I feel his grip get tighter around my neck, and I begin to rub his back to try to calm him down. I whisper in his ear, “It’s ok. You’re alright, I’m here now. I love you!” His response is, “But you’re leaving me soon.”

I don’t know what to say. Was he crying because his foot was in pain, or his heart? Who had told him when we were leaving? Had he over-heard the staff talking about going back to school? I am broken-hearted, because as much as I am denying it, the end of the summer is fast approaching which means I have to tell jesus bye. But now he knows it and just like me is dreading the day I pull out of the neighborhood for the last time this summer. Not knowing if I will see him again. Not knowing if there is a chance his parents could be deported back to Mexico, not knowing if he knew how much I love him, or more importantly how much God loves him.

The rest of that day I don’t ever put him down again. The only change was whether he was on my back or my hip. It kills me to leave him for lunch even though I know I’ll be back in only an hour. He helps me instruct the youth group and repeatedly tells them that he is my helper and that sometimes I let him be the boss. When it started pouring down rain he instructs me to get under the canopy so we can stay dry, but then begs me to go back out to rescue his friend’s puppy. He gets popsicle juice all over me along with the gray paint that is supposed to end up on the house. I am a wreck at the end of this day, dirtier than ever and exhausted from having an extra 50 pounds attached to me, but my heart is filled with joy, knowing that I spent just about every moment with sesus trying to show him God’s love. It is now time to leave, and my eyes begin to tear up, even though we will be back tomorrow. Jesus is of course in my arms and he notices my tears and tries to wipe them from my eyes, “Don’t cry Christina. I love you.” This only makes me cry more as I tighten my grip around him, kiss him on the cheek, and whisper in his ear, “I love you so much jesus.” He responds with, “I know.” Kisses me on the lips and then rests his head on my shoulder, with his face buried in my neck. I cry as I walk down the road to his house, but he does not know this, he is just happy to be with me and resting in the fact that I love him.

But what if I daily say, "I love you so much Jesus." talking about my Savior? What if I rest in God's love for me? What if I truly experience His protection? What if when I'm weak I let Him be strong? What if I allow Him to heal the broken places? What if I stop fighting and let Him hold me like I held jesus? Jesus was able to rest in my love, knowing that no matter how many miles between us I will love him. In the same way I can rest in the love of Jesus Christ and know that even though I’m not at camp where we have worship services every day, His love will follow me wherever I go. All the spoken and unspoken questions are things that He will take care of and will reveal the answers to me in His perfect timing.

So I was trying to show Jesus my love, while he was really teaching me about God’s love.

shoe analogy

cowboy boots... these are one of my favorite pairs of shoes, but i don't wear them as often as i would like. wearing my cowboy boots would display a confidence that i do not usually or always have. they are not the most stylish shoes or are in style really, but i love them and they are a part of who i am. my boots remind me of the country atmosphere where i was raised, small town charm. where everyone knew everybody and were friends of many. i think of the little old ladies in my church that were very tender hearted and loved everyone like we were their own children, the smallest thing we did for them touched them deeply. that is part of me.

chacos - there are very few outdoor enthusiasts that do not own a pair of chacos. these shoes remind me of people who are always out on an adventure or just getting back from one. chacos are comfortable no matter what you are doing. i can run in them, hike, kayak, or just walk around campus. they make me think of exploring and searching for something. that is part of me.

tennis shoes - these represent being an athlete and all the blood sweat and tears that is involved in training. as i look at my tennis shoes sitting here in the floor i see stains from the mud that i stomp through when i go running, or the fraying shoe lace from being pulled tight too many times. these shoes were once strong when i bought them, but now they are worn out and in need of repair or replacement. that's me i want to be strong on my own, but i need Jesus to repair and provide renewal. that is part of me.

barefeet - when i go barefooted i feel like a kid again. i feel an overwhelming sense of joy and that i am truly alive. when i was a young child there was a sense of freedom. i want freedom from the bondages that hold me back from truly being alive in Christ. i want that to be not just part, but all of me! to have an alive and growing relationship with God!

this past year has been a lot of going through trials, but learning from it. learning who i am apart from my family and friends that i grew up with. who i truly am in Christ and what i believe!

easier said than done!

recently i was given the challenge to just be weak...anyone who really knows me, knows that it is hard for me to reveal and accept my weaknesses and let others help. i tend to bottle it up inside of me and to just keep pushing through life.

but then i found this:

but he said to me, "my grace is sufficent for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." therefore i will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. that is why, for Christ's sake, i delight in weaknesses, i insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. for when i am weak, then i am strong. 2 corinthians 12:9-10

God's strength is all that i need. i don't need to rely on my own strength.

then just last weak i got a really cool analogy from God cause i know i'm not smart enough to come up with it on my own.... so i have a massive bruise on my right arm from where i tried to give blood and the nurse ended up sticking the needle straight through the vein and busting the blood vessel. my arm was swollen and hurting anytime i tried to move it, and i could not life much with my right arm for a couple days. i also have some scars on, get this, my right hand/arm, from previous injuries. so here it is: i am right handed so that is my strong arm, but even at my strongest i can't protect myself, and do things on my own, i have to rely on God's strength!

God totally used my ridiculous experience with the blood drive to remind me of His strength once again and my need to surrender control and just be weak!

justice, mercy, and humility

So the title of this is act justly, love mercy, walk humbly! I got that last night when I was reading my Bible and came across Micah 6:8, which says, "He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

Act Justly...This just really jumped out at me. We've been talking a lot at school about human justice with the issue of human trafficking. But what do I really know about justice? So I decided to look up in my handy dictionary, and see how they define the word....JUSTICE - to do what is right or fair based on morals standards. What are my moral standards??? And do I act upon them?

Love Mercy... Those are to words together that can both be very confusing! Love is something that we all want, and not just romamntic love, but unfailing and unconditional love that can only be received from God. Mercy is another one that I realized that I had heard used often, but did not know its true meaning. The dictionary say it is compassion shown especially to an offender or to one under one's power. A blessing that is an act of divine favor or compassion.
I love mercy. It's something that God shows me each and every day. He calls me to show mercy to others, not just during the summer while I'm working with people in poverty, but to the people living in the dorm with me or sitting in class with me.

Walk Humbly... What does it mean to be humble? In Matthew 18:4 Jesus says, "Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."...Humility like a child? Children are completely dependent on the adults around them. They want to do things by themselves, but somethings they just can't do. We are told to walk humbly with God, to let Him guide our steps, and not try to do everything on our own. To not think of ourselves with someone with all the answers, experiences, or ability to do it all by ourselves.

I want to become a woman of God who acts justly, loves mercy, and walks humbly with my God!