Let the little children come

“They remember me, they really remember me.” This is what ran through my head as I sat on the hot dusty ground, while little Haitian children crawled over me, leaned against me, and climbed on my back. That day was my second time to this clinic in Tapio, Haiti, but it was nearly 4 months since that first trip when I became friends with these little boys. I had not learned their names, because we spoke different languages, and they did not seem to understand the little bit of Creole I had learned. I still do not know their names, but it is their beautiful smiles and faces, that have stayed in my mind and on my bedroom wall.

It was late in the afternoon when I decided to take a break from my triage station. I spotted some kids hanging out below a tree, and I wandered over to “talk” to them for a little bit. When you speak different languages talking with kids consists of a lot of smiles, high fives, and great big hugs. The little boys mentioned above came down to where I was a couple minutes later. The first one came up and slowly started to recognize me. We hugged, and took a couple pictures. Then the second boy (I should really come up with names for them) came halfway down the hill we were on. Once he got within eyeshot of me, he came running down the hill as fast as his little feet would carry him. He grinned from ear to ear, and as soon as he was close enough he jumped into my arms, almost losing his pants that were too big for him. I held him tight to me, and my eyes filled with tears. These were the boys I had been hoping I would see. The boys I had thought about every day since I left Haiti in September, and the boys I had prayed for and wished I could have taken them home with me.

We eventually sat down and played on the dusty ground, like I’ve already mentioned above. One of the older boys grabbed one of “my” boys’ head and shoved his scalp in my face. He was trying to show me the scabs that were on the child’s head. I realized that they thought I was a doctor. The older boys started to laugh at the expense of this little one. He looked up at me, and shame seemed to fill his eyes. I had no words to say, but just pulled him close to me and held him for a little bit. He pulled away from me and the biggest smile graced his face. At that point I’m pretty sure that he knew that I didn’t care whether he had scabies or some other infection. I was still willing to hold him and love on him. More than anything I hope those boys went to sleep that night, wherever they sleep, knowing that I love them. Maybe they replayed the scene in their head over and over again before they fell asleep; I know that’s what I did. I went to sleep that night, praying for them, asking God to protect them and to hold them close to them. My prayer is that they come to know the saving grace of Jesus, and that they grow up to be strong young men seeking to serve the Lord.

"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." Matthew 19:14

First one to get to me

One in the stripped shirt was the second of the two I had met last time.

After he had jumped in my arms

The little one who had scabs on his head

On my lap

Friends...

This post might end up being a little closer to the heart. Just a warning.

How and why do friendships just end? That is what I've been thinking about this morning. Yes, I know we grow up, move away, and life takes us in different directions. I know that, and I've been told that before.

But what about those friendships you thought would never end? People who you thought would always be in your life. People who you absolutely saw being at your wedding (not that I'm getting married anytime soon). People you spent extended amount of time with, and opened your heart to. Only to have them not respond to your texts, calls, or facebook messages. So, that time together might have been a couple years ago, but they were still people I trusted, looked up to, and valued their opinion.

We don't have to talk everyday, and life takes us different places so that we don't see each other as often, but do we really just ignore one another?

There are some friends that I can not talk to for awhile, but they can brighten my day with a simple text, or will leave me a comment on facebook and it brings a smile to my face. Why can't all friendships be like that?

Have we forgotten the times the good and the hard, that we spent together? Do you not remember sweating, laughing, crying, and praying together? The times that we thought tlife couldn't get any better, or even any worse.

So when friendships do end, what do I do? How do I deal with the hurt?

Yes, I've made new friends, but they were not to replace to old ones, but merely to build my community.

It's almost like grieving a loss. I guess I have to give myself time to hurt and "mourn" before I try to move on. Sometimes I want to act tough, like nothing really matters, and it doesn't hurt. But if I'm honest, it hurts to not talk to people who played such big roles in my life. It is nto fun to be ignored or to feel forgotten.

Now don't misunderstand and think I don't have any friends. I do, many great friends who are here now, or would be here in an instant if I needed them. Friends who have and still do sit with me when I cry, who give me an encouraging word, who pray for me all the time, and who skype with me even when the internet connection stinks and we have to type to communicate, but it's worth it to just see one another's face.

I have incredible friends, but that doesn't mean I don't miss the ones I've "lost."

Valentine's day blues? Not here.

So a little over a year ago I was asked out by a guy.Surprising I know. I was very flattered,and played with the idea in my head for a couple days. I knew ultimately thatit was not time for me to be in a relationship, and I had to turn him down. Idid not understand why I couldn’t date him, and could not answer people’squestions when they asked why I had not accepted his offer to go grab coffeetogether. I told him, and them that I did not want to lead him on; which wastrue, but it did not seem to satisfy their questions as well as my own. I didnot have an answer, and doubted my decision all the time. I remember listingall of his great qualities to the Lord, as if He didn’t already know them.

Now this guy is still a good friend of mine and I see himoften. Who knows, if the Lord wants us together then he will make it happen.However, there are things that had to happen between then and now that I wouldprobably not have learned had I been in a relationship. The past year or so theLord has started a process of what I call “stripping” me down. He has pulledall the excess things from my life, so that I had no other option, but to turnmy attention to Him. He did not want my heart to fall for a guy, but to fallfor Him. The Lord wanted to romance and win me as well as my heart. There was healing that had to take place and trust that had to be built. I had to let down my walls and surrender all to theLord, as well as allowing Him to heal the hurt places in my life.

Had I gotten in a relationship I probably would have looked to him for answers to my questions and doubts and for bandages for my wounds.Also I probably would have ended up hurting the guy instead of building him upand walking beside him as he strived to be a man of God. But the Lord said, “Iwill have none of that. I want you as my own.”

He continued to strip me of things I had held dear. He mademe realize that I did not need friendships. Instead I should look at them aspeople He has blessed me with, but not people I depend on. I went throughperiods of time that involved deep heart ache, late nights, when only He wasawake to comfort and hold me. I learnedthat He is all I need. Sounds cliché, but it’s true.

I learned that no one can love me the way He does. Once Istarted to see how much He truly loves me, it became easier for me to acceptunconditional love from friends and family. I learned that He does not love mebecause of what I accomplish or what I can give Him, because I really cannotgive Him anything other than my heart.

So this Valentine’s day, when I could be focused on how Icould be in a relationship with an awesome guy; I’m going to focus on myrelationship with the Lord. He is the ultimate Lover and paid the ultimatesacrifice for me. No earthly man has given his life for me to show me that heloves me, but Jesus did. He paid the price.

I do not want to join the masses and become bitter towardsall the couples celebrating Valentine ’s Day. Love is definitely a good thingto celebrate. However, let us realize we don’t have to celebrate earthly love,or love from a guy or girl. Instead, let us all rejoice in the fact that theGod of this Universe loves us. He loves us dearly. He is not giving us roses toenjoy for this one day, instead He has given us all of creation to enjoy forthe rest of our lives. We have mountains and oceans, flowers and animals, tolook at and be reminded that He created nature for us to enjoy and to bereminded of His power and love.

Romans 1:20 says, “For since the creation of the world God’sinvisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen,being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.”

There is no reason to not recognize all He has done for us.Let us take on this day to share the love of Christ with everyone we encounter,and to look around us and be reminded of His love.

Please don’t throw yourself a pity party. Get out thereand live the life God has intended for you. And share the love the Lord has lavished on us.

Take a look at these pictures and tell me that God doesn't exist. We serve a powerful and very creative God.

It is finished

It is finished.......... These three little words are stuck in my head and I am so glad they are. Ever since being at church, listening to my pastor's sermon, and taking the Lord's Supper with the body of Christ, I am in total and complete awe of what Jesus did on the cross. I have realized that it is indeed finished.

Yesterday I learned that radical means extreme change. The Gospel requires this extreme change. You cannot encounter the Gospel and not be changed from one extreme to the other. I always thought I had been a pretty good kid growing up, and I was, by the world's standards. But what had to extremely change for me was my love and devotion to the Lord. I could no longer just go to church on Sunday mornings. Once I fully realized what Jesus had done,(and this wasn't until my sr yr of high school) church on Sunday mornings was no longer enough. I couldn't wait to wake up each morning and study God's Word.

Now I have gone through periods of time where I was like that, and other times I had to use discipline to stay in the Word. However, after allowing the Lord to speak to me through the message yesterday, I feel like that high school kid who just discovered that the God of this universe died for me. Wow, it sill blows my mind, and I don't want it to ever stop. I do not want to become comfortable with this. Jesus gave the ULTIMATE sacrifice for me, the ULTIMATE sign of true love. No earthly person can ever love me the way Jesus did and still does. (That's something to remember, especially with Valentines Day being tomorrow.)

I have now heard the message and my attitude has been altered, but it doesn't stop there. It requires some action steps. I must now boldly proclaim the Gospel. In my words, and my actions. As many of you know I feel called to the mission field. After having gone to Haiti twice I realize more and more that missions is not about doing some good works, providing housing, or healthcare. Instead it is about saving people's life with the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And it is not I who does the saving, but God Himself. I am merely a tool that He has chosen to use in the field. He definitely uses the works to accomplish good, share His love, and open people's hearts to the Gospel. It doesn't matter if one person receives salvation or one hundred, the angels are still rejoicing. It is not about numbers, becuase each person and soul is precious in the Lord's sight. He wants everyone to come to Him, He didn't come for the masses, but for each individual person. Praise God, that there are new brothers in sisters all around the world, thanks to obedient people who allow the Lord to work through them. So once again, It is finished. My battle with sin is finished. Not meaning that I will never sin or struggle with sin. But on that cross Jesus defeated the enemy. We are no longer his to be played with. We have a victorious Savior who battles against the enemy every day. We are His, and on what good news that is.

Last night we sang this song in youth worship. I have been singing it ever since then Check it out: It is finished By Matt Papa